Second Time Around
by Shadowmage97
Summary: Memoirs of a reincarnated life.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Harry Potter.

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_"__The best way tell someone you don't like them is to text them '370HSSV 0773H' and tell them to read it upside down."_

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To be honest when I realized that I'd been reincarnated I really didn't know _where _I had been tossed into. I certainly didn't realize that I was in a fictional story that I'd once read as a child and I sure as hell didn't notice exactly how close I was to the main character.

In my defense I was more than a little preoccupied with my new situation. Considering I never even believed in reincarnation in the first place I was, suffice to sway suitably horrified to realize not only was I a baby but that I was as far away from as home as I could get.

Quite frankly, now I know there's a reason why memories are erased when one is reincarnated.

Let me assure you, lovely readers of this amazing journal of mine, being aware that your about to be born is horrible. Being aware that your about to be born to a stranger is even worse. And being in this situation when in your previous life you were once a nurse in training, is completely, utterly disgusting and humiliating.

Let's just say that remembering that babies drank uterus fluid to practice using their digestive and urinary systems at that precise moment was not good for me.

I was still shuddering from the horror of it all months afterward. I think my 'parents' were worried I was having seizures or something but I managed.

Anyway it was such a huge shocker, realizing I'd been reborn, that I didn't even put up a fuss when some random nurse washed me off, and handed me off to someone who I assumed was my 'mother'.

Damn, I realized that I was going to have to learn everything over again. Double damn, I wouldn't even be able to wipe my own ass for while.

Hmph, I was just going to have to be an 'early developer'.

Next thing I knew I was torn from my thoughts when something was shoved in my face. It took me a while to realize the stranger was shoving her breast in my face.

Naturally I refused to drink it. I didn't care what the hell brought me here but their was no fucking way I was placing my mouth anywhere near another chick's breasts, whether or not she was my mother.

As the woman tried to feed me again, I began screaming loudly.

Fuck it, if I was going to go through this humiliation then I was doing it my way. I was going to survive on formula or die trying.

As I fell asleep after drinking the nasty tasting formula the nurse brought in after my 'mother' gave up trying to give me breast milk, a horrifying realization hit me.

There was still chance I might not be a girl.

Unfortunately, I couldn't fight of the urge to sleep and the checking of the gender had to be put on the waiting list.

This would be a very humiliating childhood, of this I was certain.

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_Read and review!_

_Thanks,_

_ShaSha_


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own Harry Potter.

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_"F.I.N.A.L.S: Fuck I Never Actually Learned Shit"_

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To tell you the truth the first few months after my birth was a large blur. It pretty much involved me sleeping and cuddling with my mum a lot.

It was a bit worrying at first, drifting in and out like that and I was scared that maybe my baby brain couldn't handle the information overload that came with being reincarnated with all my memories and now it was permanently damaged.

Luckily after my first birthday everything became much clearer. It was like I'd been wearing the wrong glasses that made me see everything blurry and suddenly put on the right ones one and everything was clear again. Honestly, everything looked normal, I clearly wasn't in the Naruto world (pretty disappointing) nor was I in any other world that I could tell.

It was the first time I could get a good look at my brand-spanking-new parents, too.

My new mother was all skin and bones as far as I could tell. She was a very tall blonde woman and if one were to describe her nicely the word they'd use would be willowy. My new father on the other hand was the complete opposite. He was dark-haired, short and extremely overweight.

It may be a vain thought but I really hoped that there's a pretty relative somewhere in either of their families that I can take after.

I also found out that I had twin brother who took great joy in hitting me and taking my toys. Annoying little brat.

Of course it irritated him when I flat out ignored him and instead went for the picture books mother had left in the nursery room.

To my utter amusement I learned my brother's name was Dudley. Yes, Dudley like Harry Potter's cousin in the books. Obviously mom and dad must have been Harry Potter fans though it would have more sense if they'd named Dudley, Harry instead but whatever.

I had better things to do with my time. Such as figuring out what my new name was.

Today, Dudley and I were strapped to our baby seats in the yard while our mother worked on her garden of petunias and begonias. I decided to get to work. I was already a year old and since it seemed like I was still in my old world instead of a world like Naruto I decided to show off a little of my 'genius'.

"Ma-mama! Mama! Flowia!" Damn, flower didn't come out right.

Mother immediately dropped the small shovel and turned to face us. "What did you say sweetie? Can you say that for mummy again?"

I frowned in concentration. "Flo-Flowa!" Oh, good god. The damn 'r' refused to be pronounced.

Mum immediately began cooing over me. "Oh, Peony, sweetheart, your mummy's little genius aren't you? Oh, wait until I tell Vernon!"

Two things happened at once.

First one part of my mind was stuck on the horrifying realization that I'd been named Peony. _Peony_. That was the most horrible name I've ever heard.

I mean, god, if we're going with flower names, why not Rose? Lily, Iris, Violet. God, even Petunia would be better.

Then I realized she'd just called dad Vernon.

Was this a joke? Were these people role-players? But then why would the include their children in it?

I couldn't really be in a book, could I? And if so, what the hell was I? An OC? A mary-sue? Did I even have magical powers?

Why was I even considering this? I mean their appearances were scarily similar to the book descriptions and we were somewhere in England and we did live in a neighborhood that had houses that looked almost exactly the same but a _book_? A fictional story? Was it really possible?

As I watched my mother fuss over Dudley and I, I decided that I'd give this world a chance.

It was still possible that everything was an amazing coincidence but if the possibility that I was in the Harry Potter world was true then I'd just have to accept it. After all, I _had_ been reincarnated.

I'd see in a few months. If a certain dark-haired child didn't land in our doorstep in the next two months than I wasn't in the Harry Potter world. If so, then I may or may not be screwed.

Honestly, I really wasn't sure if I should be happy that I wasn't reborn into the dangerous world of Naruto with all it's Ninja and fighting or disappointed that I may have been born into a world where dangerous magical terrorists roamed the earth.

I decided that if I _was_ in the Harry Potter world I'd better be a flipping witch or there would be hell to pay.

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_Thank you,_

_ShaSha_


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